Have You Ever Seen a Pizza Cry? Keto Eating on the Road

So when eating on the road my employer, like many, reimburses me for the actual cost of my meals.  The amount I can spend for each meal is capped depending on the city.  For Houston it is $45.  This is often the cause of moral hazard because since it is not my money I am inclined to spend it more frivolously than had it been my actual earned money.

I try to keep to a ketogenic lifestyle, which includes my diet.  The tenants of keto are basically that you try and avoid eating carbohydrates altogether.  Less than 25 grams a day.  Eat plenty of fat and protein, particularly from natural, seasonal, and unprocessed stuff.  If you do so your body will go and remain in “ketosis” where it burns fat and your body doesn’t have the insulin spikes many carbs have which affect how you feel.  So I like being keto when I can resist the temptation to avoid carbs.

I also love pizza which is loaded with Carbs.  But only the crust is the carbs, the gooey melty other stuff is fair game.  So when on the road and just want a quick and convenient dinner, the “Pizza Scrape” is the way to go.

Step 1 Order on dominos.com or papajohns.com online and set the delivery direct to my room.  For two large pizzas with tons of toppings papajohns is usually cheaper than dominos, but I prefer the dominos topping selection which includes more vegetable variety like spinach.

Step 2 Make sure you spend a bit under $45 to leave room for a tip for your driver.


In the case of last night’s order that meant $41.61 for 2 large pizzas.  One was the stock “Philly Cheeseteak” specialty pizza, the other loaded with goodies including extra mozzerela, cheddar, green peppers, mushrooms, onions, spinach, tomatoes, italian sausage, sliced italian sausage, pepperoni, ham, and salami.

Step 3  Accept delivery of the pizzas, preferably when you are dressed at least somewhat appropriately and not get caught watching The Bachelor on ABC by the driver.  Don’t forget to visit the hotel lobby for a plastic silverware set.  And make sure you tip the driver!


Arrival of the pizzas

Step 4 Begin the glorious consumption of your $41 of pizza.

Begin consuming the delicious pizza by scraping off the toppings one slice at a time

Begin consuming the delicious pizza by scraping off the toppings one slice at a time

Step 5 After gorging yourself on the all the meats, cheeses, and vegetables, discard of the pizzas.  They will usually start to smell after a while, even if it is the bare crust.  So the best bet is to put the now violated pizzas out in the hallway for collection by hotel management.

Two pizzas totally violated of their toppings and dignity

Two pizzas totally violated of their toppings and dignity

There you have it.  Keto eating on the Road – the pizza topping scrape.